Don't get me wrong, I loved Enid Blyton all through primary school because children my age (then) were capable of running around, defeating village policemen (adults, mind you!) discovering smugglers and art theives while staking out caves, being kidnapped (and subsequently rescuing each other - with adult help!) aaaaaaaaand the list goes on.

But you gotta love this Enid Blyton-bashing article. The things you don't read between the lines when you're 8 and a half.

www.guardian.co.uk/books/2005/dec/22/booksforchildrenandteenagers.comment

'I say, how queer!" said George, showing Dick the story she had just read in the Guardian. "Queer altogether!" said Dick when he had read the article and finished his mouthful of fresh home-cured bacon and egg which the hens had laid that morning. "What does it say?" said Anne, who was hand-feeding her older brother Julian with fresh lettuce hearts and delicious freshly baked bread that she had made at four o'clock that morning as girls should. "Yes, tell us," said Julian. "Because I am the leader of the group and Anne can't read because her female eyes are too weak."

"It says the Famous Five are still the most popular children's books ever," said George, wolfing down a slice of delicious fruit cake they had bought from the local paedophile - sorry, red-cheeked farmer and his wife - that morning. "Gosh," said Anne. "Even with the fearful fuss there has been about Narnia recently?"

"The Pevensey children got second place," said Dick eagerly. "And serve them jolly well right for prancing about with talking beavers in amalgamated mythical hinterlands instead of staying firmly within the stockbroker belt."

"I call that pretty ripping," said Julian as Anne brushed the crumbs from his pullover and flagellated herself with a willow branch for being a girl. "It just goes to show that you will never go broke underestimating the sophistication of a pre-adolescent readership."

"What do you mean, Ju?" said George, feeding Timmy the dog scraps of delicious deliciousness that they had bought from the village shop that sold only fresh delicious things.

"I mean, old thing, give them 200 pages of easily identifiable heroes and villains, a set of two-dimensional protagonists getting into a series of relatively unthreatening and infinitely resolvable scrapes, scatter the thing with a few basic adjectives and plenty of descriptions of food and they will lap it up for 50 years or more."

"Well-paced narrative has distracted them from gaping plot holes and an unprecedented lack of character development," agreed George, pouring herself a glass of fresh milk that Anne had extracted from a passing Friesian at five o'clock that morning. "But I think our own embodiment of timeless archetypes has something to do with it."

"I don't understand, George," said Anne when she got back from filling the empty lemonade and ginger beer bottles full of fresh water from the underground spring 10 miles away, buying delicious ices at the village shop and dressing the burns she suffered while cooking breakfast for five on an oil stove.

"We're all awfully good at appealing to eternal childish desires for continuity, conformity," explained George. "Julian's awfully alpha male, someone for the boys to aspire to and Dick's the lesser patriarch but his authority is still reassuringly unchallenged because of the mere fact of his gender. You, Anne, as subservient helpmeet, shore up the status quo while I, with my tomboyish attitude gradually subdued over the course of the series, acknowledge the tensions inherent in the patriarchal structure while always recognising the need for their repression for the greater social good. Together, we are gathered gratefully to the unrepentantly reactionary heart of every child."

"I say, isn't that ripping!" said Dick.

"Jolly, awfully jolly good!" said Julian.

"Top hole!" cried George.

"I am so fucked," said Anne.

our new vacuum cleaner arrived a few days ago.
it is about the size of a baby and has about half the intelligence of one.

and, it spits out about twice of what it has eaten.
 

Your view on yourself:

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

The seriousness of your love:

Your views on education

The right job for you:

How do you view success:

What are you most afraid of:

Who is your true self:

1. You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.
2. You don't really care about other people's feelings. You do things the way you want and usually think only about yourself. You are easy-going and love to have fun, but you can be irresponsible as well. You are not keen on serious discussions because they can make you remember that life isn't always about parties.
3. You strictly follow rules, and you expect other people to be the same as well. People can get tired of you easily, as you can make them feel a little guilty about themselves. You always make decisions on your own, and can be dismissive of other people's advice. You like to be the leader in groups, but can forget to be concerned about the people you are with.
4. Guys see you as being a thinker and a careful person. They will be really attracted to this quality in you, but you need to learn to speak your mind, otherwise people will find you too shy and quiet. Learn to relax and lighten up--it's okay to have fun sometimes. When you learn to develop your fun-loving side, guys are going to flock to your side.
5. Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

Newsflash : There's...................nothing wrong with me! (damn ! for real ?! you say )
no motor dyslexia ! no severe hand eye coordination !

today i round the campus all the way to the paddock area, and around the Somerville carpark and then onto the real roads at 70km/h (don't sneer ah !) . and i practiced going up a hill as well. doing a U turn and roundabouts can give me a mild panic attack though.

but i hit the kerb while turning a U turn and accidentally uttered an explenetive. go figure. i'm going to be a real polite driver.



 

my show is taking so damn long to load soo.....

one. i did my long-overdue laundry and it's dried already.

two. i ( okay, me and my flatmate debby ) cooked pasta and it tasted fine : ) note to self : broccoli and metled kraft cheese and oregano ! even though it was two clueless people throwing things in the pot, it was edible haha.

three. i helped a homesick and lonely girl feel better. (i hope.)

four. i am browning nicely. save for the slipper tanlines.

five. i did about 75% of my tutorial assignments.

six. i am going vintage shopping tomorrow. (i hope.)

seven. i just talked to my best friends on skype.

eight. i watched a wonderful romantic comedy. i normally wouldn't even say rom-coms are nice, but this was. really nice.

nine. this is an incredibly romantic song.